Learning the art of letting go is one of the greatest secrets to a productive life. Without the ability to leave the events and people of the past where they belong, you’ll feel weighed down by the things that didn’t go quite right or that went spectacularly wrong. It’s a little more complicated to grow and heal from trauma, but practicing your skills at letting go of smaller things will prepare you for bigger losses. Get started on your journey to overcome painful past memories with this guide to growing your skill at the art of letting go.
What Is Usually Hard to Let Go?
Everyone holds on to different things, from physical items to mental reminders of specific times. Some of the events or items that might be hard to let go of include:
- Difficult events like divorce, loss of a loved one, or a breakup
- Special items from childhood or other periods of life, like a stuffed animal
- Mistakes you made at work, in a relationship, or with your finances
- Consequences from mistakes like a failed drug test
- Prejudices and hatred towards individuals or groups of people
- Fears of loss, illness, or similar kinds of trauma that you’ve never actually experienced
- Positive events that nonetheless changed your life in a way you hadn’t expected
Why Let Go of Trauma and Losses?
Since it’s hard to get your mind to stop replaying certain things that have happened in the past, you may assume that they’re important.
Yet learning not to focus unnecessarily on issues from your past, both positive and negative, is an essential skill to moving forward. A healthy and overall fulfilling life depends on your ability to keep growing and adapting. It’s impossible to know what the future holds, so focusing too much on what has occurred in the past only drains your energy and ability to adapt.
Healing begins with releasing your emotional connection to painful and traumatizing experiences, even if it seems impossible. You’ll find that, in many cases, you’ll need to let go of the same issue more than once before it begins to loosen its hold on your life. Without releasing your attachments, you may find the stress causing you to become reliant on alcohol or develop other challenging coping methods.
Embracing the Mistakes of the Past
The key to the art of letting go is not to suppress, ignore, deny, or dismiss your experiences and the pain you might have felt in the past.
Only through embracing your traumas or mistakes and seeing them as growing experiences can you move forward from them. When you only have partial memories of an event or aren’t even sure what upset you so badly, you might struggle to begin with this process. Working with a therapist is a great way to jumpstart the process of letting go. They can guide you through an inventory of past experiences and explore how these issues are impacting you today.
How to Learn to Let Go
Aside from hiring a therapist or attending a support group, you can do a lot to learn the art of letting go on your own. Start by examining the amount of agency and control you had during painful or traumatizing periods in your life. If you were in control and made mistakes, you can work to address those behaviors or make amends with the people you’ve hurt.
If your issues from the past occurred when you were a child or during a time when you had little control, understanding your experience from a victim’s perspective can help you let go of your attachment to it.
Dealing With Flashbacks and Emotional Surges
You can’t let go of anything all at once. It may seem gone and dealt with, then reappear suddenly when you least expect it. Try to see flashbacks or emotional reactions as a part of the process of letting go. Each reminder is an opportunity to let go again, renewing your commitment to living in the present and looking towards the future.
Understanding what you can learn from your trauma and forgiving yourself can go a long way in reducing the intensity of these kinds of flashbacks. If you are having issues with the stress of past experiences, CBD products may help. Undergoing treatment with psychedelic mushrooms could also help unlock your feelings.
Practicing the Art of Letting Go
Start by letting go of something small, like a petty dispute between you and a friend. You don’t even need to let them know you’ve let go of it. In fact, many people find it more freeing to forgive and forget all on their side and leave those that have hurt them out of the process.
All you need to do is remind yourself that you’re always moving forward and that new experiences can unfold that have a completely different outcome from those in the past. Once you’ve mastered the art of letting go, you’ll find yourself in a much better position to receive and spread love throughout the world. It’s a good feeling to have freedom and emotional balance, no matter what you might have experienced in the past.
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